I think I shouldn't be on at all. Where the hell am I? Psshhh...like it matters to me at the moment, but I think I'm somewhere that is okay. My head is acting funny. I feel like I'm dizzy but the room hasn't spun yet...only thing is...is that I can't really keep my balance. How lame. I miss my friends already. How strange. I never really cared to much about this kind of stuff. I wonder what happened to me.

They say I look like a girl now. What the f_ck???? What the hell did I look like before? A he-she? Ah well, I can't blame them for wondering if I had a d_ck or a p_ssy. HAHAHAHA!!! They named my scar on my left arm "Swamin" because of that lame commercial about the leeches. Except they called that Sloming or whatever. My friends over there are tripped out. I guess that's what I like about them. They do crazy things and I don't mind it to much. It's like a new breath of air that going deep into my lungs and allowing me to stay alive then weakly swallowing it down. At the moment...I am weakly swallowing my breathes of air down. Could I say they bring the best out in me? Could I say that they make me feel high, drunk, stoned, tripped, crazy...with out even trying? It's like being angry for me, but it's like a good angry. Does that make any sense? It's not the fact that they would do crazy things like drive to this certain spot then we would walk all the way to this place we named so long ago the "Split Hills.“ Or the fact that we climbed that damn thing until there was no where else to go. Or the fact that laying in my room while the sun was shining and looking at the glitter speckles on the ceiling pretending that they where really the stars out in the sky at night and pointing at them to make it more believable. Or the fact that we were brave enough since we was in middle school to actually step with in reach of the broken down ice cream truck we call the "Clown Car". Or the fact that sharing little things about what we have in our closets, or under our beds, or in our computers shouldn’t be something that we should be proud of to share, but we do it anyways. Or the fact that driving around just to drive is all we need to really do to feel like we actually hung out. Or the fact that we actually dared to talk to each others parents/parent for just a bit without running to our rooms for cover. Or the fact that we drank and talked about how we met and added little memories we are still able to remember... Or the fact that we stood in the rain and watched the lighting make us visible like we was out in the sun. It's the fact that we actually wanted to do that. That we actually wanted to hang out with each other. Instead of planning out what we should do and end up not doing it. Or talk on the phone and acting like that's really hanging out...but if it not verizon to verizon then I‘ll talk to you later cause you using my minutes. Although me and my friends over there fought and had our downs...we still managed.

My friends over here are cool and all that jazz. We just...don't really have time for each other. Or maybe it's that we do, but we put something in our way to prevent us from being with each other. Maybe it's me that's putting stuff in my way. But hell I hate it when I actually want to do something with someone and they can’t cause it’s a school night, or cause they don’t have money. Since when did anyone need money to hang out???? And since when was it such a big deal to go see someone on a school night? I’ll take your ass home when you ask me too, or I’ll walk my ass home. Sh_t I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. HAHAHAHA!!!!

ANYWAYS, I'm sick and I'm gonna get some sleep cause I‘m tired. So night sweet dreams, and be safe everyone. Oh...I still haven't had time to check my messages and stuff, sooooo I'll do that later when I don't feel so sick.